Being a grownup is hard.

Being a grownup is hard. I’ve used that phrase a dozen times this week and it’s only Wednesday. But…it is.

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Sometimes I want to call a massive, world-wide timeout so I can sit on the floor and plug my ears and ignore all the chaos for a few minutes.

In high school it was against the rules to chew gum or wear hats. Remember that? You needed permission to use the bathroom for heaven’s sake.

It felt absurd to have such invasive rules governing my actions. But now? Now I sometimes crave the simplicity of that stage in life. Success was a cinch, and easily defined. I did have to make tough choices, some that were pretty serious, but I came home to my twin bed every night, and for the most part, knew what to expect the next day.

It’s easy to gloss over the endless school days, bitter social structure and seemingly unsurvivable heartbreaks–don’t worry, I remember those well–but now there are new challenges to take their place. Mortgages, career changes and complicated finances.

I wonder, and have to believe, that in another 15 years I’ll be looking back on what I’m experiencing now with the same fond, rose-colored view. It’s pleasantly ironic how time allows us to forgive and mostly forget.

Nowadays,* life is speckled with tough decisions and difficult situations.

*term I can use now that I’m 30

Don’t get me wrong–life’s amazing. Truly amazing. While I try never to lose sight of that, sometimes it’s hard and uncomfortable. A lot of learning is involved that doesn’t involve textbooks and worksheets, and the consequences are more severe than detention –> which I never had, not once #goodygoody.

I know everything’s going to be ok. Sometimes it just takes time to figure out what ‘ok’ is.