Moving is a lot of work. I moved every summer for nine years in a row after I left for college, and I thought I’d mastered the art of a smooth transition. That was until I experienced the joys associated with moving into a new house while simultaneously prepping another one for sale. You know, spending your time and money to make your house look better than when you lived in it, so that a stranger can enjoy the fruits of your labor. The experience opened my eyes to a range of new activities I’d be ok never repeating.
Here you have it, the 10 Worst Tasks Associated with Moving:
1. Moving four tons of gravel. By shovel and wheelbarrow. To cover up the areas where our dogs dug the crap out of an entire patio of pavers.
2. Cleaning out the refrigerator. I‘m no hoarder—I’ve cleaned it before—but when tasked with making it look new again, things got gross fairly quickly.
3. Deodorizing the carpet. I inhaled the equivalent of two tablespoons of scented baking soda in the process and fear I will forever smell of fresh linen.
4. Cleaning spider webs off the windows. As part of the process I had to violently shake my whole body every two-to-three minutes to remove the imaginary spider army I was convinced was crawling all over me.
5. Getting a new hot water heater. Because of course it went out just as we were about to move. Because it cost $750 for parts and labor. And because It’s still 110 degrees out so you don’t technically need a hot shower right now.
6. Painting. There was a point in life when my brother and I would lament our mundane office jobs and discuss the merits of being a house painter—a job where you see the fruits of simple labor each day, and never take work home with you. Attention: this is no longer an aspiration.
7. Packing. One cannot understand the magnitude of one’s possessions until it must be moved into cardboard cartons and carried to a new location.
8. Dusting window coverings. Blind dusting? I spent about two hours dusting the blinds. That’s a task so boring it doesn’t even have a real name.
9. Scrubbing the driveway. I may have completed a Pinterest project in the driveway last year. I may have used spray paint and neglected to use newspaper as a safety barrier. I may have then spent an hour scrubbing spray paint off the driveway with graffiti remover last week.
10. Cleaning out under the washer and dryer. It’s not convenient to do on a regular basis—or ever—so when the time came, it was gag-inducing. Fur balls and dust bunnies fled the scene like deranged tumbleweeds.
It was a lot of work, but we got it all done and the house went on the market today. Now, we wait, patiently, for the cobweb-free windows and freshly painted trim to draw in buyers by the dozen.