Can you bring extra carry-on if you’re going to prison?

Sometimes, I have really entertaining IM conversations. This one starts off slowly, but stick with it.  Quality increases toward the middle. If you know me and my friend, who I’ve chosen to keep anonymous, this is much funnier. If you don’t know us, I’m sorry, because we are awesome.

Friend:

ru there?

Me:

yep

Friend:

want to hear something weird?

Me:

always

Friend:

im at the airport

and im looking at a guy that im pretty sure is being transported from prison

Me:

WHOA

Friend:

he has handcuffs

Me:

no way

Friend:

with two cops

dressed in regular clothes, but i can see their bullet proof vest

Me:

that’s crazy. i’ve never ever seen anything like that.

Friend:

me neither. one cop is reading a book.

a child is playing near the person

Me:

omg

Friend:

i want to take a picture

Me:

DO IT

PHOTO

Friend:

eek

Me:

flash off

Friend:

i’ll try

ok. sent.

Me:

oh wait the cops are in regular clothes? i wonder if they’re bounty hunters. or something.

Friend:

what the heck is a bounty hunter?

Me:

um did you never watch Dog the Bounty Hunter??

they find the people in ‘wanted’ posters like private investigators and bring them to justice

Friend:

oh man….maybe it is a bounty hunter then

Me:

WHAT IF HE’S ON YOUR FLIGHT

Friend:

i’m stalking like a creeper

Me:

word

Friend:

face danger right in the face

Me:

BOOM

Friend:

starting with the bounty hunters

…..

Friend:

enter man in shackles

seinfeld episode born

Me:

done and done

Friend:

i don’t think anyone else sees this situation

Me:

if your life was a tv show and not real, you’d totally be going “psst” to the cops to wink at them and let them know you’re on their side

JUSTICE FOR ALL

Friend:

i’ll just give a big thumbs up

Me:

overexaggerated ‘ok’ sign

Friend:

– ding –

wink of the eye

what if he is on my flight?

Me:

maybe they’re US Marshalls

Friend:

that would be legit!

then i could be on 20/20

…..

Friend:

i should move so i stop staring

Me:

i wonder how they got thru security

so.many.questions.

Friend:

should i ask?

psst

i got a few questions for ya

Me:

starting with: what book are you reading, officer?

Me:

Can you give me a hand with this? no? oh, you’re shackled…

Friend:

can u watch my bag a second…oh wait ur already watching a human

my bad

Me:

HAHA

Friend:

i wish this was all made up

Me:

i’m so glad it’s not.

…..

Can you bring an extra carry-on if you’re going to prison?

Friend:

for an extra $25

Me:

will they feed him peanuts by hand mid-flight? or does he go without?

Friend:

does he get shackled to his seat?

Me:

and, does he get bathroom breaks?

Friend:

someone definitely has to adjust the AC for him

Me:

do they unshackle him if there’s an emergency landing i wonder?

cause he can’t use his seat bottom cushion for flotation otherwise

Friend:

he prob cant have an emergency exit seat

he is both unwilling and unable to assist

Me:

i’m crying

Friend:

so am i

but im at the airport

looking at him

and laughing

Me:

i wonder if there’s an extent of criminal at which you can’t go on a public flight?

Friend:

who knows

im so confused

…..

Friend:

he actually might be on my flight

Me:

this is a justifiable use of the word epic

Friend:

true story

Me:

i need so many details if he’s actually on your flight

Friend:

yesterday i saw a girl walking down the street in stilts

now this

Me:

i got the pic

it’s prob a misdemeanor that you took that

i’m doing a googleimage search with the convicts face 

hang on

…..

a pic of a baby came up as a match. fail.

Friend:

lol

Me:

and a puppy

Friend:

which was closer? the puppy or the baby?

Me:

puppy

def puppy

Friend:

nice

poor puppy

Friend:

i really wonder how many other people at the airport have bullet proof vests?

Me:

and i’m just still curious how they got thru security…

-end scene-

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4 thoughts on “Can you bring extra carry-on if you’re going to prison?

  1. He may have been unable to handle the exit door, but I bet he would have liked to be able to exit quickly…without his guards!

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