The Non-Olympics

The Olympics are coming, the Olympics are coming!

Who doesn’t LOVE them?

I was never quite athletic enough to dream of an Olympic appearance. But I’ve often wished there was a competition to celebrate the fine-tuned skills of people who excel in non-athletic activities. Then I would have a case full of medals.

Here are the events I feel I could dominate:

1. Spelling.
2. Rapid laundry sorting. (By color or fabric – I’d medal in either event.)
3. Google stalking people.
4. Dog bathing.
5. Tripping in high heels. (Didn’t play enough dress-up as a child.)
6. Obsessing about things I can’t control.
7. Selecting the perfect greeting card no matter the occasion.
8. Hair straightening.
9. Seinfeld trivia.
10. Frosting eating.


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