dear blank please blank

You know those ideas you have that you think could be a famous book or website or Urban Outfitters coaster set? The ones you never pursue because really, how does one acquire a book deal or coaster manufacturer? Well, someone is getting rich off of an idea I thought of years ago. Sigh.

This website epitomizes my favorite method of communication: one sentence inappropriate thoughts, written to things that often don’t make sense, and I’ll never actually speak to.


Dear phonebooks,
Don’t take it personally, but the internet just served you.
Sincerely, the 21st century

Dear humans,
Thanks for picking up my poop. I don’t have thumbs otherwise I’d do it myself.
Sincerely, the dog

Dear meatheads at the gym,
The mirrors are to check your form, not your hair.
Sincerely, your biceps


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