wedding: unplugged

The wedding was perfectamazingfantasticdreamyincredible.

But…

There also were some funny behind the scenes moments from the weekend that cannot go unnoticed.

I’ll try to recall these in some sort of order:

1. On the day of the rehearsal, I drank a glass of sangria for breakfast, which seemed like a logical idea. Jim was making 10 gallons of it for dinner and it was critical that I taste-test. I promptly vomited for several minutes, in front of Jim and my maid of honor. This was traumatic. Not only because I was vomiting in the presence of the hubs to be and the MOH, but also because I vomit approximately once every six or seven years and cry every time. However, fret not dear readers. I made a quick recovery and had two Paradise Bakery sugar cookies for lunch. (Disclaimer – I am a health NUT – but during wedding week I gave up any hope of nutritious meals.)

2. The night before the wedding I insisted that all six of my bridesmaids spend the night. I have never outgrown a love for slumber parties and felt it would be a good way to ensure that none of us got any sleep. Mission accomplished.

3. On the morning of the wedding I took the dogs to the PetSmart PetsHotel for a night o’ fun. I wasn’t yet in the beautification stage of the day, and made a conscious choice to wear workout capris, a dirty t-shirt and my glasses. Oh, and I didn’t do my hair or makeup. So it was fun to run into PetSmart’s former CEO in the lobby. “Uh, hi Mr. Francis…I’m getting married today.” I don’t think he believed me.

4. Upon arrival home after said PetSmart event. I found all the bridesmaids out in my front yard. Classic white trash move. I thought they were locked out of the house, but as it turns out, they just wanted to get rid of tan lines. Classy.

5. While getting my hair and makeup done at the venue. I suddenly announced that I wanted pizza. And a Redbull. Lo and behold, Groomsman Matt came to the rescue. I enjoyed the pizza then, and again at the end of the wedding when it was rediscovered, rock solid and cold, and devoured.

6. I was all dressed and dolled up hours before the ceremony, but couldn’t sit down without wrinkling my dress. So, we had a dance party in the bridal suite. To music that was not appropriate for my parents’ ears (sorry mom and dad)!

7. Toward the end of the reception I was sick of my fake hair piece. So I ripped it out on the dance floor. Surprise!

8. I signed on the wrong line on the marriage license, where the officiant needs to sign. Hope it’s still legally binding!

9. The venue boxed up the top layer of our cake for us to take home. But I found it at the end of the night and consumed about half of it with my hands. Bridesmaid Anna witnessed this spectacle, and instead of passing judgment, she shrugged and joined me for dessert.


10. We left the venue at the end of the night and our driver took us to the Biltmore. When we got there, we both were largely disheveled. Actually, Jim looked great, but I was barefoot with wild hair. We walked proudly into the hotel amid two other weddings and cheers from strangers. Our most grand of entrances.

11. The morning after the wedding we woke up to a hysterical series of texts from our wedding party and friends. From what we gather, they boarded a party bus, made a stop at a church, and then proceeded to be kicked out of a bar in Scottsdale for interrupting a dance party. Again – this is only our loose interpretation.

12. I didn’t have time to eat much in the days leading up to the wedding. The next morning the only thing that could sate me was the finest of cuisine. Something unusual and of the highest quality: McDonald’s. I polished off a QPC and half of Jim’s nuggets. Totally worth it.

And that, folks, is that happens behind the scenes of the world’s best wedding.


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One thought on “wedding: unplugged

  1. Too funny and too crazy!!

    Happy One Week Being Married Anniversary!!

    It was a beautiful time. Love you guys!
    Aunt D

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