1. My workout clothes don’t always match. I used to care about being cute at the gym. Not so much any more. Now I care about getting shredded. Not.
2. My neighbors are never going to replace their car’s windshield. It’s been 17 months of tarps and duct tape. How this doesn’t bother them I’m not entirely sure.
3. I’m not always going to save as much money as I could. Sometimes buying new clothes pushes my IRA into a dark lonely place.
4. I’m probably never going to meet George Clooney. I’m sad about this. He’s so classy.
5. I’ll never be as good of a gardener as my mom. But by some miracle I’ve recently kept two plants alive for longer than a week.
6. I’ve still never baked a turkey. I always pictured that people who are (soon-to-be) married have an innate ability to do this.
7. No matter how much I vacuum, there’s always going to be dog hair on the floor.
8. I think my laptop is giving me too many ions. I don’t know what ions are, but I worry about them. They sound bad.
9. I eat ice cream at least once twice a week.
10. I don’t know how to change a tire and have little motivation to learn. This is a complete contradiction of my obsessively prepared self. But for some reason, I’ve never even attempted to learn. As I write this, I wonder if my brother knows how. Maybe we just missed this as teenagers? No. No way. We were schooled in jumper cable use and how to check tire pressure. Definitely going to bring this up with my parents.