It’s safe to say that Home Depot isn’t a place I feel particularly comfortable. Partially because I don’t know what 97 percent of the products for sale are used for, and also because it’s just so overwhelmingly gigantic. As a female venturing in solo, it’s easy to get lost, disoriented and perhaps panicked among strange sights and smells. Floor-to-ceiling displays of foreign objects can leave you feeling quite small.
What is a depot anyway? Weird word. Why’s it end with a T? It always makes me visualize an 1800s general store in the wild west where one would acquire grains and sugar rations out of wooden barrels and fabric by the bolt. I think I’d actually like it more if that’s what it was like.
Yesterday I made a depot run for a few items that I couldn’t name, but knew existed. Thus began an inarticulate guessing game with an unsuspecting employee.
Those pencil things that you can draw on wood with to fill splintered parts?
Spackle stuff for wood, you know, to fill in cracks?
A paintbrush. No, it’s a special kind. You use it on trim and it’s angled?
I made it out alive and only marginally flustered. My favorite moment was when a female stranger joined me in silenced horror in front of the paint brush display. “There’s just…so many…so many kinds. Why would one cost $25 and this one’s only two bucks?”