Yet the world spins madly on.

We live in a world where it’s frighteningly easy to come across bad news.

Advances in technology invite horrors and ugliness we might otherwise be protected from into our living rooms, and the stories of strangers are brought into our hearts. There’s so much information at our fingertips that it’s easy to become desensitized to the stories we hear.

The stories of hardship and loss that infiltrate our lives on a daily basis. It’s hard to process all of it. To wrap our heads around the fact that every minute, somewhere, certain peoples’ lives are being forever altered while the rest of us go on about our days with normalcy.

I don’t think this is a bad thing, not fully. Ignorance might be blissful, but there’s far more good in the world than bad, and taking the two forces in tandem is just part of the bargain.

I guess the part I find to be the hardest is that each of these stories, every one of these people or families in need, deserves all the care and prayers in the world. People who’ve had their world turned upside down should know that the rest of us are there for them. They deserve more than what I can find on the internet.

Tonight I was watching a TV documentary about the prison system (it’s an awkward guilty pleasure) that happened to feature a case in Phoenix. It was several years old, but told the story of a young veteran who had been charged with and convicted of the murder of his girlfriend after he returned home from a tour of duty in Iraq, suffering from PTSD.

My curiosity piqued after the show, I began searching online to learn more about the status of the case. I found a wealth of information, more than I needed to really, but it was so strange to be reading about the death of a young woman who very well could have been a friend of mine. She graduated from the same college that I did, lived in the same city and worked as a veterinarian – my once-impassioned career aspiration. After reading about the case, and even  some personal emails from her family members that ended up on a public blog, I just felt so sad. So overwhelmed. I think the most overwhelming part was that I could sit on my couch and read all about this young woman as part of a trial, when her life was so much more than that. It doesn’t seem appropriate that I can Google search someone’s beloved daughter or sister this way – that on a whim I have access to something so sacred to others – it feels wrong. Too invasive.

Sadness and evil exists all around us. People endure hardships and circumstances that I can’t even fathom. I really mean that – I likely can’t even imagine some of the things that happen to others. Yet the world spins madly on.

I’m wired to try to learn from every situation I encounter – the good, the bad and the strange – and I struggle when I can’t make sense of a situation or find my own sense of closure with it. Tonight, I’m realizing that I can’t always do this. Because some circumstances don’t impart knowledge or a lesson on us, they’re just something we must think about, quietly.

So perhaps our own quiet reflection is sometimes the best way to process and honor a situation, when there are no words or reasons for it.

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It’s what makes it good.

From Kelle Hampton's blog, Enjoying the Small Things:

“If you share, if you publish, if you write, if you speak, if you are brave and decide to put yourself out there, I promise you, someone won’t like it.  Someone won’t agree with you.  Someone will misinterpret.  Someone will think that you are silly, unqualified and that your work is crap.  That you are crap.  They might not just think it but they might tell you.  And that won’t feel good, especially not the first time you hear it.  But it is necessary.  And it’s okay.

For me, receiving negative criticism has been an important tool in self awareness and owning my voice.  I’ve gone from believing what mean comments pointed out (I am a horrible person and I suck at writing), getting angry with the people who wrote them (You are a horrible person and you suck at leaving comments) and doubting if writing publicly was really something I wanted to do to a completely different place of understanding and compassion–both for myself and the people who are hurting enough to project it in a carefully crafted you-are-crap comment.

Where does it get you in the end? Well, there is no end. And there shouldn’t be because when we lose the ability to have our feelings hurt, we are no longer vulnerable. I love vulnerable art and writing and music and sharing. It’s what makes it good.

The risk for criticism for any endeavor we take on is guaranteed. You face it bravely. You own your voice.  You learn from the good and the bad and you use it to be better. Bill Cosby said, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”" -Kelle Hampton

everyday holiday

Regardless of your beliefs or traditions, your gift lists or vacation plans, I hope this holiday season is a time for reflection and thankfulness.

A time to contemplate the many opportunities and blessings we have in life, and also the less-than-ideal moments, as those are what spur our growth and provide perspective. It’s hard to do this, and do it consistently, but without this intentional kind of introspection, it’s easy to overlook how good everyday is.

I’m hardly a religious person. I find more sanctuary in a yoga studio than I do in temple, and often struggle to recognize that some things happen for no good reason. When really crappy things do happen, I try not to dwell on why, and instead focus on how … to help, counsel or move forward. How to take what happened and make a difference.

But man, sometimes I just don’t know how.

I’ve volunteered with Big Brothers Big Sisters for several years, and my little sister has one of the craziest lives you could imagine, with more challenges and hardships than one person should ever face.

Despite it all, she’s happy and hopeful and radiates a genuinely sweet nature. She never complains, and is always looking for ways to make others happy.

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This weekend, I stopped by her house to drop off her Christmas gift. It’s not unusual for a lot of her family to be present when I come over, and Saturday was no different. Only this weekend I got some upsetting news about her 14-month old nephew.

Her mom has been caring for him since his father (my little sister’s older brother) has been in jail since the child was born. His mother was too unstable to care for him full-time, but still saw him each week and was working to make changes in her life. But last week she was found murdered in her apartment.

Now, this adorable, happy baby has no parents. And that shook me to the core. How completely oblivious he was to the chaos surrounding his precious life. So many things that will completely shape his entire life have already unfolded, before he can even be aware of them.

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He’s very fortunate to be taken care of by his extended family, who also has full custody of my little sister’s niece, whose father died from cancer and mother overdosed on drugs by the time she was four. My little sister’s never met her own father – her three older siblings have two different fathers.

I don’t retell these stories to generate sympathetic feelings or to encourage anyone to volunteer in the community – although those are important things to feel and do – but more because it amazes me to see how much love and happiness bubbles out of this house that could be overcome with grief or negativity.

The family is grateful for all they have, and never complains.

It’s led me to this realization:

Everyday that we wake up happy, hopeful, healthy and able to do what we enjoy is such a blessing. To enjoy our routines and opportunities is all we can hope for. And to have people in our lives that we love and who love us back, is what makes everyday a holiday.