The 10 Worst Tasks Associated with Moving

Moving is a lot of work. I moved every summer for nine years in a row after I left for college, and I thought I’d mastered the art of a smooth transition. That was until I experienced the joys associated with moving into a new house while simultaneously prepping another one for sale. You know, spending your time and money to make your house look better than when you lived in it, so that a stranger can enjoy the fruits of your labor. The experience opened my eyes to a range of new activities I’d be ok never repeating.

Here you have it, the 10 Worst Tasks Associated with Moving:

1. Moving four tons of gravel. By shovel and wheelbarrow. To cover up the areas where our dogs dug the crap out of an entire patio of pavers.

2. Cleaning out the refrigerator. I‘m no hoarder—I’ve cleaned it before—but when tasked with making it look new again, things got gross fairly quickly.

3. Deodorizing the carpet. I inhaled the equivalent of two tablespoons of scented baking soda in the process and fear I will forever smell of fresh linen.

4. Cleaning spider webs off the windows. As part of the process I had to violently shake my whole body every two-to-three minutes to remove the imaginary spider army I was convinced was crawling all over me.

5. Getting a new hot water heater. Because of course it went out just as we were about to move. Because it cost $750 for parts and labor. And because It’s still 110 degrees out so you don’t technically need a hot shower right now.

6. Painting. There was a point in life when my brother and I would lament our mundane office jobs and discuss the merits of being a house painter—a job where you see the fruits of simple labor each day, and never take work home with you. Attention: this is no longer an aspiration.

7. Packing. One cannot understand the magnitude of one’s possessions until it must be moved into cardboard cartons and carried to a new location.

8. Dusting window coverings. Blind dusting? I spent about two hours dusting the blinds. That’s a task so boring it doesn’t even have a real name.

9. Scrubbing the driveway. I may have completed a Pinterest project in the driveway last year. I may have used spray paint and neglected to use newspaper as a safety barrier. I may have then spent an hour scrubbing spray paint off the driveway with graffiti remover last week.

10. Cleaning out under the washer and dryer. It’s not convenient to do on a regular basis—or ever—so when the time came, it was gag-inducing. Fur balls and dust bunnies fled the scene like deranged tumbleweeds.

It was a lot of work, but we got it all done and the house went on the market today. Now, we wait, patiently, for the cobweb-free windows and freshly painted trim to draw in buyers by the dozen.

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Airing My Dirty Laundry

I am really, really excited about my new washer and dryer, so much so that I’m actually writing about this to others. The Twins, as I like to call them, are being delivered by the appliance stork (otherwise known as Home Depot) tomorrow, and I have been waiting all week to watch them reach their rightful home.

My excitement has been bubbling beneath the surface for quite some time. When Jim and I moved in together last year, we found a great place, but the 1970’s stackable washer/dryer set was an embarrassment to the art of clean clothing. Nevertheless, I immediately took charge of our laundering needs, and essentially forbade him from washing his own clothes…lest it disrupt my system. I became resentful any time I left town and he took over the task; a parent with empty-load syndrome.

It was a reward to shop for new ones when we got the house, and that bubbling excitement soon burst to the surface. We made the purchase at Home Depot last weekend, and the clerk must have sensed my enthusiasm, because before we checked out, he printed out photos to “tide me over until the real thing arrived.” I wasn’t embarrassed. I told him with confidence that they would go straight onto the fridge, even if it made the other appliances jealous.

I don’t know why I have always loved doing laundry. It must be the satisfaction of quickly being able to see the fruit of your labors, accompanied by the refreshing scent of clean. Or the fact that these machines have been so personified that it is difficult not to treasure them, name them, knit them their own Christmas stockings… Here’s an excerpt of the product description:

Sensing technology adjusts to the needs of each fabric SenseClean system for intelligent fabric care Sensor Dry auto adjusts the drying time for optimal care Machines that are
sensitive, intelligent and flexible. Really, how could I resist?