Category Archives: musings

Chain of Irrelevant Thoughts

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If you came over to my house tonight here’s what I’d tell you.

A roofer, a plumber and an electrician walk into a bar. The roofer turns to the plumber and says, “Have you ever gotten a frantic call from an almost-thirty-year-old at 8 a.m., demanding you visit a property the next day?” The plumber acknowledges that he had, in fact, received such a call. Lo and behold–the electrician had too! Welcome to my morning. Adventures in home inspections.

Did you know version 84 of Now That’s What I Call Music! was released this year. Yeah. Chew on that.

When you get married, everyone tells you that you should never go to bed angry. This is well intended but terrible advice. There comes a point when the best thing to do is to just get some sleep. Emotions are high, feelings are bruised, and going to bed is the best way to collect your thoughts without resorting to violence.

There is no anti-anxiety medicine in the world that can help a person watch the movie Flight without FLIPPING OUT.

I had to take my iPhone into the Apple store today to get a replacement. It took about 25 minutes to update and restore my settings, during which I was told to sit at a table to wait. It has been a long, LONG time since I’ve had to sit still, alone, without my phone as a distraction. I was in time out. It was really uncomfortable, but allowed me to tune into everything around me, that I presumably zone out on a regular basis. Without this cause for pause, I would’ve overlooked the abundance of hipster employees assisting technologically challenged senior citizens.

When is Homeland coming back? Seriously.

It’s been just under 10 weeks since my wrist surgery and I can’t imagine being any happier with the results of a medical procedure. I want to be in commercials for my surgeon’s practice. I can do painless dips and pushups for the first time in six years. I catch myself instinctively favoring my wrist even when it doesn’t hurt, out of habit. That’s a good habit to break.

Our trip to Asia happens in t-minus six weeks. I am irrationally excited. This will mark the eight and ninth countries my brother and I have been to together and the seventh and eighth for Jim and me. So rad.

I spent a solid 45 minutes on the City of Phoenix planning and zoning website this week. I was confused and fascinated and I never need to have this experience again.

I am so sad for Oklahoma. I was there once for a mere seven hours for a work trip. The devastation is unfathomable. The amazing amount of kindness and donations pouring in from across the country is the only possible silver lining on an awful situation.

On a near-daily basis I debate whether I should be following Kim Kardashian on Instagram.

 

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Bigger and Faster Only Matters with Monster Trucks

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My high school weight room had the words, “Bigger, Faster, Stronger” emblazoned across the walls in huge, paint-stenciled letters. It was a motto for the football team’s weight-training program, but the remaining 99.4 percent of the student body that wasn’t on the team also was subjected to this ridiculous mantra in gym class. Incidentally, it’s also the name of a 2008 documentary film about the use of anabolic steroids as performance-enhancing drugs. Draw your own conclusions.

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I remember thinking that we’d probably be better off as a student body (and a society) if we adorned the walls with something like, “Smarter, Kinder, Friendlier.” But alas, I attended a microcosm of Varsity Blues where athletics—particularly football—ruled the ranks.

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I’ve always had a hard time with the mentality that we must always push for more, more, more. Bigger is better. Faster is cooler. Stronger is power.

It makes sense in theory, especially if you drive monster trucks or are assembling an army, but it often takes more strength to know when to step back from a situation than it does to persevere to a dangerous point. The best athletes are those who work tirelessly, but also listen to their bodies and take breaks when they need to recover.

This is a part of yoga that I love the most. Yoga teaches that it’s important to reassess how you’re feeling in every class, regardless of whether you’re a rookie or an expert practitioner. Some days things aren’t in synch, or we’re tired, or healing from an injury, and we need to sit out some of the more challenging portions. No matter the reason, yoga embraces the philosophy that it takes more strength to know when take a break than it does to push yourself carelessly.

But the ability to discern when to keep going and when to hang out in child’s pose is tough. We’re wired from a young age to strive for everything we can imagine, or risk the F word. For years I was terrified of failing or not meeting the expectations of others. It impacted how I made big decisions and caused me a lot of unneeded stress.

Among the blessings of getting older is an awareness that failure is far more complicated that a simple win or loss. It’s just a sign that another way or a different time might be better.

The Glorious Things Money Can Buy

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I’m thinking there’s something going on with Groupon.

Mid-life crisis, perhaps, or pressure at work?

The troubling part is that the items below were all recommended to me based on my account preferences. Not sure what that says about me or my preferences.

The good news is that for $56.94 you can have all six.

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A silent understanding that we’re all in this together.

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It’s not all that ironic that I ended up in Boston so soon after the marathon bombings. A business trip was planned months ago and I couldn’t wait to squeeze in a visit with friends and family in my hometown. But now that I’m here, in a community just beginning to process the unthinkable, the city I love is less familiar.

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The energy is subdued, and people approach each other differently. But instead of showing fear or uncertainty–reactions one might expect after a terrifying event–I’ve seen only compassion and love. A silent understanding that we’re all in this together.

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Anger and grief are present too–hopefully those will fade in time–but the overwhelming sentiment is togetherness. People are united, the city is recovering.

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Everywhere you look there are signs, memorials and outpourings of support. Pairs of running shoes tied with personal notes and left in symbolic places. Drawings from children posted on street signs. Thank you posters outside police and fire stations. Businesses, restaurants and places of worship show support through displays and donations.

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My heart is heavy, but also hopeful; a give and take I imagine is here to stay. But one thing is clear: the good doesn’t just outweigh the bad, it’s knocked it on its face and walked right over it.photo_14

There are none of the bandwagon-type reactions you sometimes see after a tragedy. People aren’t clammoring for media interviews or laying claims to those most affected. Everyone just seems to be here for each other, connected and respectful.

The way this city has come together takes your breath away. Things may never be the same, but they will be alright.

Yo yo yo…big pimpin,’ spendin cheese

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When we made the momentous decision to reinstate cable last year, I felt like a kid in the world’s biggest candy store, that also happened to be in a foreign country.

I was overwhelmed, to say the least. We’d gone years with just a dozen channels, and now, we had options to fill our every waking moment. Mostly with reality shows depicting the strangest subcultures of society.

I could barely master the use of all the remote controls involved, and had no idea what half the programs on the guide were.

Honey Boo Boo. Dance Moms. Breaking Amish. My Strange Addiction. Hoarders. Teen Mom. Swamp People.

Is this even TV, or just a live feed into every parents worst nightmare?

Anyway. I was cautious to get too sucked in, too addicted (because that, in itself, is probably a reality TV show), but I’ve found myself hooked on a few different shows, proving once again that inspiration comes in unexpected places.

To accurately explain this I’ll confess that I love Oprah’s Master Class. I do. And while I had the highest hopes for Tom Brokaw’s interview, I was more impressed with the episode featuring Jay-Z.

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Candid, raw and real, Jay-Z charts his unlikely rise from the hard-knock life of the Brooklyn projects to worldwide superstardom and what he’s learned along the way. He reflects on his failures, the healing power of hip-hop and how he finally made peace with his father before he passed away. Plus, Jay-Z shares his personal revelations about integrity and why knowing your own truth is the foundation for everything great.

The most fascinating part of the interview discussed his views on spirituality. He commented on the fact that many of us fail to pause and see the magic or goodness that exists in the world in the simple things. He gave an example of getting a scrape and watching it heal–it was far more poetic in his words–and it really struck me. He’s absolutely right. We’re so quick to point out the negative sides of situations and things, when there’s so much more good to focus on if you look for it.

Of course I like Jay-Z’s music. I grew up during his rise to fame and spent hours listening to him on my discman (in the prehistoric world before iTunes). Plus, he’s married to BEYONCE, the only man to successfully like it and put a ring on it.

I never thought I’d be thanking him for reminding me to seek out beauty in the unexpected, that’s for sure. But the fact that his words were so meaningful is a perfect example of the way inspiration can take us by surprise.

My dog ate my vacuum.

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The first thing that came to mind when I saw this e-card was how my dogs react the vacuum cleaner.

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At the wise old age of four, they can recognize that lunging at the vacuum like it’s a rabid Pekinese in not the best idea. It results in an electric shock, a mouth full of dirt and very angry two-legged parents.

Just like dogs, people also learn to make better decisions by not remaking the poorer ones. We avoid things that cause bad feelings or have negative consequences, and adapt our activities to experience more of what’s rewarding and pleasant. This evolution of behavior keeps us safe and happy.

Most of the time.

Other times, we make the same mistakes over and over again, still startled to arrive at the same results. Some might say this defines insanity; I think it’s just what happens on a steeper learning curve. It takes a few tries to get over the hump. Because sometimes we’re not ready to learn a lesson, no matter how many times it sucker punches us in the face, and we need a few tries to understand what we’re experiencing.

We may not always learn things as quickly as our canine friends, but on the bright side, we have opposable thumbs get to go to the bathroom indoors.

The good, the bad, the vulnerability.

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Is it just me, or has the world gone frightfully mad?

It feels like every week another tragic event, natural disaster or act of violence monopolizes the news and our hearts. We’re left feeling confused and vulnerable. Searching for ways to make sense of the senseless and help those who are hurting. And I think it’s that feeling–that vulnerability–that is the hardest to move past.

There’s not always logic to what life hands us, and recent events are a painful reminder of the lack of control we ultimately have over our fates. It scares the crap out of me. But it also forces me to recognize that life must go on, and despite the scariness, good still exists, and plenty of it.

I’ve found that consciously pausing to reflect on the good–what makes me truly happy–is becoming even more necessary. It’s a way to avoid being consumed with what’s wrong, and to remember what’s right.

For me, it’s often simple things. Like, say, the fact that Jim laughs in his sleep.

Weird, I know, but it’s one of the most wonderful things about him.

Although it usually only happens once in a while, it’s happened twice this week. I’ve woken up in the middle of the night and heard him cracking up, still completely asleep, then he conks out again. The first few times it was a little creepy. Now? It’s endearing.

I’m so lucky to have a husband with a perpetually positive attitude and good nature, it’s something I’m thankful for on a daily basis, and the fact that he’s happy even in his subconscious is pretty rad.

Our second anniversary was two weeks ago, and I spent some time going through photos from our wedding day. This is one of my all-time favorite shots of my happy husband, taken while he watched me walk down the aisle.

So many things to be thankful for and happy about. As we mourn recent tragedies, be patient, and leave room for the good to ease back when it feels right, because that’s what will sustain us.

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