focused fear

This weekend my yoga teacher spoke of fearlessness, and identifying where your fears are focused. It’s often not on the immediate or tangible things we might mention. Rather, it’s the much larger but harder-to-define impact that we blame, sometimes without even knowing it.

In this case, leaving a comfortable corporate job and paycheck created short-term fear about paying bills and measuring success among one’s peers. But the larger fear of not being truly happy is what spurred this person to act.

What if I leave this job and can’t make $xx and pay my rent?

What if I stay in this job and in 10 years realize I’ve wasted some of my best years in an unfulfilling role?

It made me think about how often I’ve stayed in situations or fled situations as a result of my short-term fears, without focusing enough on my long-term ones. Without identifying the underlying force, it’s hard to ever address it.


Can we talk about daycare for a minute?

Lila graduates from her current room at daycare this week, her first room, and it’s been an unexpectedly difficult transition.

For ME, not for her. I mean, sleeping on cots? WHAT?

It’s something to celebrate: hitting milestones and preparing for new adventures, but I am going to freak out for a little bit about the fact that A: my child is growing up, and B: she won’t spend every day with the loving teachers who have cared for her for almost a year. Waaaa.

If we travel back to Before Land — that far-off place before marriage, pregnancy, motherhood and such — there were lots of things I didn’t understand. At the center of this ignorance cloud was child care, and what that might look like for our family one day.

It’s funny because I don’t actually know what I thought was going to happen — that one day we’d magically have a baby, and then childcare options would fall from the sky? Perhaps Mary Poppins would show up in our recovery room at the hospital, bag in hand and ready to assist? I’m flabbergasted at how little I considered this, given what a tremendous decision it came to be.


Ultimately, daycare was the right option for our family.

I don’t feel like moms are conditioned to love daycare. I just don’t. Despite every bit of progress and equality in life and the workplace, we’re still often made to feel that we should want nothing more than to be home with our babies, and that any deviation from that ideal is a failure somehow, in ourselves or our situations.

While I knew it was the right option for us, and we loved the center we chose, I was still incredibly apprehensive. I felt guilty. I was waiting to hate it, constantly seeking out things that might be going awry.

But as each week went by, I was able to exhale a little further. I started to accept and appreciate this as our situation.

What I’ve learned the past year is that daycare — what I once feared would be a default option, and an agonizing place to leave my baby — has instead been one of our greatest blessings.

Our daycare is a remarkable place where Lila has been nurtured and loved, day in and day out.

When she was a teeny babe, her teachers wore her throughout the day to comfort her and make sure she got to know her them. When she was colicky and refused to nap, the entire staff got a workout, taking turns bouncing her on an exercise ball. And everyone wore the badge of honor of her reflux.

The baby rooms at any daycare are a sweet space. This is where parents leaves babies, often for the first time, and entrust their most precious gift to others. Exhausted, confused new mommas get gentle guidance from baby teachers on everything from paci brands to napping strategies. An initially awkward balance is formed, wavering between wanting to give all the instructions, and not wanting to be that mom. Moms in suits and heels pass moms in yoga pants and messy buns making kind but fleeting eye contact while juggling bags and bottles. Dads proceed gingerly, equal parts confident and confused, often the minority in the drop off cycle. Everyone is fighting the good fight.

No one in a baby room judges you for having spit up on your shirt or bags under your eyes.

No one holds it against you if you freak out a little about work, or forget your sippy cup, or call or email to check in three times a day.

Baby rooms are a sacred place. Teachers may see your baby take a first step, or say a first word, but they won’t tell you until you ask, knowing you need to see it as the first time yourself. They may have a really, really rough day with your baby, but will still greet you with a smile.

Our life and routines aren’t perfect or exactly what I wish they were, in terms of work/family balance. But I’m so thankful for the innumerable ways daycare has helped and supported our whole family.


We don’t stare, but we must not look away.

“Only an accident of birth determines whether we find our way in a suburb in the United States or in Syria or Eritrea; we can’t pretend it was our excellent judgment and hard work at school that allows us to worry about holding our children’s hands as we cross the street rather than as we cross the ocean. When I read a story like that of the Kurdi family, all I can do is to find a way to respect their tragedy, to mark it and not let it pass unnoticed, but not to pretend it is in any way my own. Our collective outrage may make a difference; it is all we have to offer. We don’t stare, but we must not look away.” –KJ Dell’Antonia

read the full piece here


Three Day Refresh: Review and Results

I’ve always been extremely against the idea of “cleanses” or “juice fasts” or anything that restricts normal eating. The way I see it, I’m blessed with a healthy body and my organs take care of all of that for me by design. I’ve spent years watching eating disorders plague people I love and I’ve always thought the cleansing mentality was silly. Maybe instead of drinking lemon water and kale juice for a week, you could just stop eating crap full of toxins to begin with…?

I digress.

I try to make good food choices most of the time. Not all the time. I know what’s best for my body and I also know that life is short and a balance is required to fully enjoy it. Sometimes that means eating cupcakes and pizza and nachos without an ounce of remorse.

That being said, sometimes I struggle with that balance when things get really off track. After a vacation, for example, or when I have all kinds of work events in a week, with too many catered meals. I’ve learned that when I get too far off track, it’s challenging to get back on the clean eating train.

When this happens, I need a little kick in the pants to reset my mental and physical focus on my health, and the Three Day Refresh is the best way I’ve ever found to do this. It’s an easy three-day plan that guides you through eating fruits and veggies, healthy fats, protein and fiber drinks and Shakeology. Sounds weird, I know, but it truly wasn’t. I did this during the work week and it was easy. The hardest part was when my dear husband made quesadillas last night, but I stayed strong!

I resisted trying this program forever, because of the reasons stated above, but finally tried it this week. I just finished it and am wildly impressed. I feared I’d be starving and HANGRY and unable to focus, and that I wouldn’t lose any weight. The food servings seemed tiny and this girl LOVES to eat.

Lo and behold, I finished up yesterday and am blown away by this badboy. I followed the plan exactly as specified for three days and was never hungry. No dizziness or weakness and I still worked out. I liked all the food choices and I was amazed how good I felt just after day one. At the end of three days, I felt completely refreshed (no pun intended) and my cravings were gone. Best of all, I had a totally renewed focus on what I was putting into my body.

Following this plan really made me evaluate when I was eating out of boredom, or as an emotional response, and how much of my daughter’s food I ‘test’ everyday and share with her. It felt great to have spent three days with a completely clean and preservative-free diet, with no sodium or sugar added.


I lost three pounds, breaking past a long-standing plateau, but I’m honestly way happier about how I feel, and I’m definitely adding this into a monthly rotation.

If you’re interested in learning more, feel free to comment below, or email me questions []. This product is actually on sale for rest of the month when you purchase Shakeology, or by itself here (just click on shop on the top right and then select Three Day Refresh). And if you’re skeptical, fret not, there’s a 30-day money-back guarantee.

Capture3  Capture2



Shakeology: a perpetual over-sharer makes no exception.

Stick with me on this one.

Juuuust give it a read.

If it still sounds nutso at the end, then ok.


So I talk about Shakeology a lot. Pretty much all the time. I’m a perpetual over-sharer and this is no exception.


It’s ok.

But since I tend to get a ton of questions from people trying to figure out what all the fuss is about, I wanted to try to answer a lot of those questions together in one place. I know it’s hard (and unnatural) to trust a product you’ve never used or heard much about. There are tons of places to get info and the best place to start is here, but for simplicity’s sake, I’ve combined information from lots of resources to create the FAQ below:

What’s your deal; why are you so obsessed with it?
When I first heard about Shakeology, I thought it was an overpriced scam. I already ate healthy and didn’t want to add anything that came in a shiny bag from a company called Beachbody to my regimen. But after reading testimonial after testimonial, and with an urge to boost my immune system and energy as a brand new mom, I decided to try it. After one week though – of one shake a day – I had lost weight and had a huge increase in energy. I felt like a fog had lifted; like I finally got the right prescription for my vision, only it was for my body and brain.

After three weeks of one shake a day, I felt happier than I had in a long, long time. I had gained muscle, had lower anxiety and was sleeping better. I had fewer sugar cravings and was less bloated. The benefits only continued as time went by. I noticed how the shakes boosted my workouts and that my nails and hair and skin were healthier. I stopped taking my other vitamins and the iron supplements my doctor had prescribed, as well as other medications, and when I had a full blood panel a month later, all my results were better OFF my meds and on Shakeology.

Will it help me lose weight and feel better?
It absolutely can, as part of a healthy lifestyle. When used in combination with a healthy diet and exercise program, it works wonders and can dramatically improve how you look and feel. BUT…it works as part of an overall commitment to health. Meaning, if you drink a shake every morning, but then have pizza or a cheeseburger for lunch, beers every night and find excuses not to work out, you’ll certainly still get the nutritional goodness packed into the shake, but I don’t imagine you’ll see dramatic changes to your energy or appearance.

Does it taste good?
It’s delicious; not grainy or artificially sweetened. My favorite flavor is vegan chocolate. I blend mine with water, ice and unsweeteend almond milk. Sometimes I add greens, or berries, or peanut butter, or peppermint extract…

Why is it so expensive? Because it’s part of a giant corporation?
It’s expensive because – as in most areas of life – you get what you pay for in terms of quality and results. Shakeology doesn’t claim to be the cheapest, it claims to be the best. And for everything you get in one shake (nutritionally) for about $4, you’d pay $41 in groceries, vitamins and supplements. And that ‘giant corporation’ sources fair-trade ingredients, creates jobs in underprivileged nations and prioritizes philanthropy in incredible ways.

From the Shakeology blog: Sure, Shakeology is a bit more expensive than other protein shakes on the market. But there’s one very important thing you’ve got to remember, and that is Shakeology is far beyond a protein shake. It’s a nutrition shake. Designed for people who know they need more than just protein. The truth is, protein alone isn’t enough to make you, and keep you, healthy. Your body desperately needs other stuff like fiber, minerals, vitamins, antioxidants, phytonutrients, superfoods, adaptogen herbs, prebiotics, and digestive enzymes (just to name a few) to run at optimum capacity. You could spend more than $700 on supplements, just to re-create all the healthy ingredients in one bag of Shakeology.

I already eat super healthy and make green smoothies, why would I want to use this?
One big reason is soil depletion. Because of soil depletion, crops grown decades ago were much richer in vitamins and minerals than the varieties most of us get today. So while you may be making solid efforts to consume a nutrient-rich, balanced diet, your food alone can’t give you everything you need. This article gives a scary but interesting summary. Other perks:

  • Shakeology has been tested and certified by an independent lab to have a Low Glycemic Index (GI) of between 14 and 29 (depending on the flavor). This is lower than most fruits (an apple has a GI of 39, and a ripe banana has a GI of 62).
  • Shakeology’s ingredients are derived from whole-food sources. All too often, the “magical ingredients” in other shakes have been isolated from their enzymes and phytonutrients. And when that isolation occurs, those magical ingredients are no longer effective when consumed.
  • Shakeology is specially formulated so all of its ingredients work together like a symphony. While each and every ingredient has a strength of its own, when partnered with the right supporting ingredient, they form a bond that’s undeniably stronger than when they stand on their own. This is why some brands of vitamins are way more effective than others, it’s their ‘delivery system.’
  • Whey Protein Isolate (WPI)—the protein source used in Shakeology—is a very pure form of protein that contains 87% to 95% protein and almost no fat or lactose. On the other hand, Whey Protein Concentrate (WPC – found in many protein powders) is only 34% to 80% protein. So even though a WPC label can legally say “100% Whey Protein Concentrate,” technically that means there might be only 34% protein content in that shake.

Is Shakeology Organic?​​​​​​​​​​
Beachbody has put every effort into making sure that the ingredients in Shakeology do not contain pesticides, are not destroyed in processing, are produced using the best of the fair trade practices and have many of the benefits of what is considered “organic.” You might ask why it is not “certified organic?” The experience of the Beachbody development team has shown that sometimes certified organic does not necessarily translate to higher quality. Certifying something can simply drive up the price, especially with ingredients of this quality and quantity. Beachbody decided to focus on making sure the quality and integrity of the product lives up to the promise, without asking you to pay the premium.

Is Shakeology safe for pregnant and nursing mothers?
I get this question a lot, and am not super comfortable giving medical advice since I went to med school online at From the website: Shakeology should only be taken by pregnant women and nursing mothers under the direction of their physicians. From dozens of people I’ve spoken to and know personally: I had a shake everyday pregnant and nursing and felt amazing. Bottom line: do what’s best for you and your family, and talk to your doc first.

What if I can’t have gluten/dairy/soy?
The Tropical Strawberry and Chocolate Vegan Shakeology are dairy free, lactose free and soy free. Shakeology is not certified gluten free but is made with gluten-free ingredients.

What is the Beachbody “Bottom of the Bag” money-back guarantee?
Shakeology is sold with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Customers can return Shakeology packages that have been opened and used, even if the bag is completely empty.

Is Shakeology FDA approved?
The FDA does not approve any dietary supplements. Chew on that for a second, will you? Because that is straight TERRIFYING.

A multi-billion-dollar industry of things we consume, for health, isn’t regulated by the FDA. However, the FDA does set regulations and guidelines for the manufacturing of supplements, which the creator’s of Shakeology follow. Shakeology is manufactured in a facility that is registered with the FDA, adheres to current Good Manufacturing Practices (GMP) and is GMP-Certified by the NSF (National Science Foundation) and the NPA (Natural Products Association).

Are there any chemicals or artificial sweeteners added to Shakeology?
No, there are no chemicals or artificial ingredients in Shakeology.

Should I try it? How do I get my paws on this magic?
A thousand times yesssss. You can comment on this post, email me {} or visit my site to order.


“And now is right on time.”

Sometimes the simplest advice – the words we hear most often, starting as children – are the hardest to follow. There are some phrases we hear so often throughout life we completely tune them out, dismissing them as frivolous niceties. We stop paying attention because they’re said in passing, or without deeper explanation.

One phrase I’ve heard my whole life is, “Just be yourself.”

I kind of hate it. What does that even mean…Who else would I be?

The more I think about this though, the more I realize it means lots of things. To trust your instincts…to not live in fear of consequences…to be mindful in the present moment and gentle with yourself.

So all of that being said, at 32 years old, I’ve decided to be myself. Finally.

You know that episode of Seinfeld where George decides to place his exact opposite deli order? And amazing things start happening? That’s pretty much me. I’m changing my approach to thinking and doing what naturally crosses my mind, and in just two days I’ve become the Costanza of the Modern Era.

This doesn’t mean anything drastic is changing. I’m not flying off the handle. In fact, I predict that if anything, these changes will only be evident to me. But the freedom this decision allows is bananas.

I suddenly feel this tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders. It might make some things harder, but I think it’s going to make most far easier.

Part of this madness stems from some big thoughts and dreams brewing lately. Another part of it comes from getting older.

Getting older is awesome because it means you’re also getting wiser. You’ve done more life and you know how to handle more situations. You learn what matters and what you can let go; where to hold your ground and where to compromise. You begin to recognize who you really are. Not who you want to be, or used to be, but who are are in this moment.


An unorthodox prescription for happiness

My husband and I were out to dinner a few weeks ago — a treasured luxury as new parents — and through the course of conversation and shoveling food THAT WE DIDN’T MICROWAVE into our mouths, I paused to ask a question.

“Hey, have you noticed I don’t cry anymore?”

Now, before your brain dashes through a million scenarios pegging me as one of those girls who cries at the drop of a hat, or whenever she sees a kitten, or if a Coldplay song comes on at the wrong time, pleaseeeee check yourself.

I’m not emotionless. But I’m more practical than dramatic. My default setting is to talk or write through feelings, and it takes a great deal for me to cry in front of anyone. Meaning, if you see tears, shit has gotten real and you’re in for the long haul. However, if you are lucky enough to be married to me, besides essentially winning the life lottery, you see the good, the bad and the ugly–which in this case, is me crying. A lot. Spouses get all the unedited bonus scenes. The tears, sick days, meltdowns, bad moods, violent flip outs over laundry…amiright?

Wanna know my sweet husband’s response to this?

“Huh. Yeah, you don’t. Are you on a new medication or something?”

(It’s ok to laugh.)

But here’s the thing. I’ve made some big changes in my life over the past few months, and the combination, although largely unorthodox, has had a significant impact.

The first change was leaving Corporate America after seven years spent in three giant public companies. I relish the experiences I had, the crazy opportunities these roles presented and the amazing friends who entered my life. I’m grateful for the ways I was pushed and challenged to grow professionally and personally. But I was burned out and disenchanted. I made a transition into a smaller, non-profit setting and am so much happier. Is my new job perfect? Well, no job is perfect. I still have long, hard days and moments where I want to pull a Jerry McGuire exit. But I am so much more at peace. I’m more relaxed and connected to my work than I have in a long time.

The second change was prayer. Now if you know me, you’re possibly shocked to read these words. You may be composing a text to me that reads as follows: “Dude, are you ok? Are the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners there?” And truthfully, I’m still surprised to write this. I considered not sharing it with the blogosphere. But I don’t like censoring life and we’ve already gotten this far. Incorporating prayer into daily life brings me the kind of calm that I’ve always loved getting from meditation and yoga. It’s just more personal, and frankly, way more necessary as a mom. Prayer isn’t necessarily about religion to me, although it’s definitely connected to faith. It’s more just a way to focus, regain perspective, practice gratitude and soothe my wackadoo anxious tendencies. At the risk of sounding crass, it’s like a cozy, emotional security blanket.

And the third change? Brace yourselves. It’s been drinking Shakeology. At this point in the post I anticipate that I definitely have some concerned people poised to text me. But wait! Here’s what I mean. I first tried Shakeology to help support my immune system. Not to get bikini ready. Not to be a hot mom. Please. Barf. I have a baby in daycare and she is a germ sponge. Anyway, after trying these shakes and learning more about all the things they do for my body and health, I was sold. I’ve never felt better. It’s premium fuel you can consume. I was so taken by the product that I almost immediately became a coach so that I could learn more and share them with others. Coaching is incredible. I’m connected to an amazing network of women and am humbled everyday to see the ways we are able to help others work toward improved health and fitness. This isn’t about all the things you might think. It’s not about money or weight loss or marketing ploys. It’s about inspiring others to feel and look their best. I wrote more about my journey here.

So in summary, all you have to do to achieve true happiness is quit your job, pray and drink a superfood shake.

I kid. Sort of.

I genuinely don’t know that any of this makes much sense, but I’m going to hit post now and try to avoid oversharer’s remorse.