Category Archives: musings

place mats and presidents

Posted on
Reply

When I was a kid, every meal at home was accompanied by these thick rubber place mats that everyone in the 80s seemed to use. I think my parents purchased them at museum stores, in a valiant attempt to make every moment a learning opportunity. This is likely why I’m still unable to eat without reading something – whether it’s a cereal box or a book.

Anyway, I distinctly remember these place mats (that are still available – who knew!). I know we had a ton of them, but right now all I recall is that one was a graphic of the solar system, one showed a map of the U.S. and another listed all the presidents.

Why am I thinking about this now? I guess because as I consider that tomorrow is President’s Day, I’m trying to figure out what the day means.

As a kid, the notion of a president – someone who runs an whole country – is crazy cool. I was intrigued to read about the dates they served and what they looked like, and often wondered if anyone Chinese or Black or Jewish would hold the role – let alone a woman. It didn’t register at the time what a moment it would be when this did occur.

For what it’s worth, if you think you know what we’re celebrating, think again. Or at least, read this, and you can be decidedly more confused.

“Sarcasm, Snarkiness and Sliming”

Posted on
1

A recent npr.org article delves into the current Republican primaries and the associated nastiness.

Author Linton Weeks sums it up perfectly with this quote, “There is more slime being slung back and forth among candidates today than in Ghostbusters II. Maybe we should just rename the whole thing the Slimary Process.”

And I can’t help but draw the following two conclusions:

1. These potential candidates are breaking every rule we learn as children. They’re name-calling, lying and shouting. They’re hurting others’ feelings and unfairly vying for attention. And so, it’s hard to consider electing someone to run our country – regardless of the party he represents – who demonstrates the ethical ambition of a small child. A small, mean child who could benefit from a time-out.

2. The way these candidates market themselves and their campaigns does very little to garner support. I’m so turned off by the malicious nature of the ads that I can’t see past the billowing cloud of negativity. Sure, there are polling and marketing researchers who earn millions debating the exact nature in which to promote a candidate, but have they lost all common sense? Mean people suck – and mean politicians are just plain frightening.

Thanks for the memories, craigslist

Posted on
2

I drove this exact make, model, year and color from 1999 to 2004, until it one day started smoking at 162K miles, and never started again. Loved this little tank and also the fact that I’m still driving a Volvo.

Little-known fact: there was a point in time where my mother, father, brother and I ALL drove these Swedish beasts.

I am highly tempted to buy this and store it, and make my children drive it one day.

Newlywed Confessions

Posted on
2

This post originally appeared on Betty Confidential and Yahoo Shine

After being married for about a year, it’s funny to reflect on what the experience has been like. It’s flown by, and the majority of the time, it’s been pretty fantastic. Although I’ll admit there have been a few moments when smoke actually came out of my ears in frustration. Nevertheless, through all the ups and downs, I’ve learned a lot about myself, my husband and about real love.

Real love is just that–real. It’s not what you seen in movies or read about in magazines, and it’s not achieved overnight. It’s something that you create and work for every single day. Because like anything else in life, when it comes to marriage, what you put into it is what you get out of it.

Even though my husband and I dated for years and even lived together before we tied the knot, there were some big surprises and challenges brought about by holy matrimony. Here’s a rundown of some of my biggest lessons and surprises as a newlywed:

Real life is not a romantic comedy

I don’t look like Reese Witherspoon, and I also don’t have as much romance in my life as she does in her films. The drama and romantic intensity we see in movies doesn’t translate to real life (nor do the salaries). When it comes to your own love life, romance is definitely important, but it doesn’t always need to be a grand gesture. I’m fairly confident I won’t wake up to breakfast in bed and a dozen roses tomorrow morning, but when my husband takes time to do things like making dinner, washing my car or giving me a card out of the blue, I know it’s our own version of a big screen romance.

Number crunching

Chances are you’ll start to combine finances after the wedding, to cover the important things in life, like food, water, electricity and NetFlix. When I got married, I was given a ton of advice on how to share and save money, but when it came down to it, my husband and I had to sit down and work together to figure out the best method for us. And it’s a constant work in progress. We might not always agree on how to spend (spa day verses big screen TV), but communicating and planning together eliminates the guesswork and makes a challenging process much easier.

For better or for worse

There’s a reason this phrase has been in wedding vows since the beginning of time. I’m not saying there aren’t perfect couples out there, but I’ve just never met them. As a newlywed, I learned that despite a loving and dedicated relationship, you undoubtedly will experience moments and days where you don’t feel in sync with your partner. Sometimes it’s after an argument, and other times it might be for no reason at all. For me, this was a hard thing to accept. I’m a perfectionist, so when things feel off, I want to fix them immediately. The truth is, sometimes it just takes time to slow down, reflect and reconnect.

Cleanliness is next to sanity

Remember when you were a kid, and your parents had a chore chart, where you got gold stars and an allowance for cleaning your room and walking the dog? Those were the days. As an adult, chores are required without pay, and can be challenging to split up. I know some couples that set aside time to clean together, some that share tasks equally and others that shell out money for a housekeeper. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer, but setting expectations can be the key to avoiding frustration. I’m perfectly happy vacuuming (it’s an ab exercise, right?) but despise taking out the trash. Based on our preferences and schedules, my husband and I have found ways to divide and conquer that leaves us both happy.

“So, are you thinking about kids?”

This is one of my favorite post–wedding experiences, for purely comical reasons. Not only is it an odd assumption that one must immediately reproduce after marriage, but it’s a totally personal question! I never expected that I would be asked this so incessantly in the months after our wedding, from all sides–family, friends, coworkers and even neighbors. My recommendation is to develop a snappy response for these scenarios, or, just ask an equally personal question right back.

You’ve probably noticed a common theme among all of these experiences that relates directly to communication. It’s cliché but true. Communication is a critical part of happy relationships. I don’t think this means having philosophical discussions about every little thing, but it’s certainly the key to expressing yourself and understanding your partner.

I’m not a marriage expert; I’m a beginner and I’m still learning to navigate the tough spots. I hope that in another year, I’ll be able to look back and reflect on more things I’ve learned and experienced all while living my own version of happily ever after.

crayons?

Posted on
2

Honestly, I have no idea how I ended up on the Crayola website tonight. All I know is that it was somewhere between @GSelevator on twitter and Shit Girls Say on Youtube. At any rate, crayons have apparently come a long way since I last used them in 1989.

I distinctly remember having color options limited to red, orange and burnt sienna. There was also always a white crayon, which was frustratingly pointless, because I never had any black construction paper.

Now, it seems to be a whole new world.

What exactly is cerise?

The Crayola Crayon Chronology shows how different points in history influenced crayon color changes. Take a looksee.


Ever wonder what happens to retired crayon colors? Well, they’re enshrined in the Crayola Hall of Fame, of course!


This is awesome – multi-cultural crayons:

A Yale University study found the scent of Crayola crayons is one of the most recognizable scents for adults, ranking at number 18, trailing coffee and peanut butter that were number one and two respectively, but beating out cheese and bleach, which placed at 19 and 20.

good stuff.

Posted on
1

The best and brightest things I’ve read and watched this week. Any one of these might just brighten your day.

Center of the Universe by Simon Rich, The New Yorker

How to be interesting (in 10 stupid-simple steps) by Jessica Hagy, Forbes

Is God going to hook me up online? Assessing Christian Mingle and ‘soul mates’ by Thom Patterson, CNN

Phoenix gay dads adopt, raise 12 happy kids by Karina Bland, The Arizona Republic

Moments by Will Hoffman. This films is a celebration of life that was inspired by David Eagleman’s book, Sum

Traveling Red Dress by Jennifer Leggio, Forbes

 

perspective shaping

Posted on
1

I’ve been thinking a lot about why it takes such significant events to redirect our perspective. We’re all taught to count our blessings, be grateful and appreciate what we have – but until a wrench is thrown into our routines – it’s incredibly challenging to do this consistently. Yet when we’re faced with something that shocks our systems and throws us off course, we’re able to temporarily reset, and live more purposefully.

When a life is taken or threatened, it generates an appreciation for living unlike anything else. It makes us realize that the majority of our worries and concerns are frivolous, and that we’re far too consumed with day-to-day tasks. We might realize we’re taking people and things for granted, and vow to change how we live.

But I’ve found that all too soon, things start to drift back to normal, and we transition right back to living the way we did before.

In a way this is amazing; that we can overcome such life-altering experiences and then somehow return to our lives, functioning as we were accustomed. It’s this poignant ‘getting back to normal’ that helps us process emotions and tangibly feel that we’re moving forward. But it’s also alarming, that this newfound clarity and perspective can be so strong at one point, then slowly dissipate back into trivial worries.

It’s fascinating. The human spirit has an uncanny ability to persevere despite unfathomable obstacles, and surpass even the most traumatic and challenging events. I just wish there was a way we could maintain the right perspective without waiting for tragedy to redirect us.

is the melting pot getting gray?

Posted on
1

In elementary school, I learned about Native American culture, and how different tribes introduced American settlers to critical skills like crop irrigation, hunting and medical care.

In junior high, my social studies class watched Roots, and explored the impact that slavery had on the United States.

In high school, I took history courses that discussed world wars and what was gained and lost through generations.

In college, I enrolled in courses about Latino authors and different world religions.

Today, I interact with people from a variety of cultural, religious and ethnic backgrounds on a daily basis. I feel fortunate to have had a well rounded education that taught me about different kinds of people and cultures. At home and at school, I was encouraged not just to tolerate, but to embrace all people.

It’s strange to think that today, some of the courses I took without a second thought, might now be illegal under a law passed in 2010.

In its text, HB 2281 “prohibits a school district or charter school from including courses or classes that either promote the overthrow of the United States government or promote resentment toward a race or class of people.”

That makes sense. I’d be very alarmed with any school that offered courses on overthrowing the government or resenting a particular race. I’m also not a proponent of segregating students by race to learn about their own race or any other. But I’m concerned that this law is taking us down a slippery slope, where Arizona students risk losing more than any legislators will gain.

We have a responsibility to continue educating each other and our children about all kinds of people, so that our society becomes more rich in tolerance. Unfortunately, the hours spent supporting, opposing and interpreting this law have likely caused more contempt than anything else, in an irony that will continue to unfold.

the promotable woman

Posted on
1

A few years ago I stopped by a friend’s house after work with a plate of leftover cookies. I’d baked for a coworker’s birthday and wanted to share the leftovers.

This did not go as planned.

Instead, my friend promptly scolded me for bringing baked goods to the office. She made me feel like a distorted combination of June Cleaver and Melanie Griffith’s character in Working Girl. She rambled on about a book called  The Promotable Woman as the reason why I should never again share food in the workplace.


The Promotable Woman (“PW,” as I shall call her), has a giant cell phone, sateen pumps and a brown leather portfolio. She has solid leadership skills and knows how to overcome obstacles and stereotypes. PW knows damn well that no man or glass ceiling will get in her way, uh-uh.

The website behind this movement carefully illustrates women of all ethnicities succeeding in their careers. All women can be promotable! We can rule the world!

All of these women clearly know not to bake for their coworkers. I’m such a fool.


And no, we haven’t come a long way, baby, if we’re still referencing 1980s Virginia Slims taglines.


I haven’t read the book and don’t see it joining my list anytime soon. I can’t verify if, in fact, there is a chapter that warns you not to bring cookies to work, but after exploring the website I did decide a few things:

1. I’m grateful to the hard-working women who paved the way for me to be treated with equality at work.
2. I will never revert to a 1980s hair style – even if it makes a comeback – because I think it would destroy my career.
3. Cookies are not the enemy. Being passive and afraid to speak up for yourself is a more detrimental move.
4. There are a lot of things you can do to better yourself and your career path…but I think the most important are: always strive to do your best and treat others the ways the way you’d want to be treated.
5. Dressing inappropriately at work is the fastest way to get recognized for the wrong reasons.