Remember when you were in eight grade and waiting for a boy you liked to call you, and you you were so nervous that you made a list of things to talk about, “just in case?” No?

Maybe that was just me.

According to the world’s manners expert, Miss Emily Post…

“IDEAL conversation should be a matter of equal give and take, but too often it is all “take.” The voluble talker—or chatterer—rides his own hobby straight through the hours without giving anyone else, who might also like to say something, a chance to do other than exhaustedly await the turn that never comes. Once in a while—a very long while—one meets a brilliant person whose talk is a delight; or still more rarely a wit who manipulates every ordinary topic with the agility of a sleight-of-hand performer, to the ever increasing rapture of his listeners.”

That makes my head hurt.

I’m fortunate to have a wonderful group of girlfriends with no shortage of things to discuss. We’ve successfully maintained our ‘book club’ cover in order to get together monthly to drink wine. Recent conversations have been especially entertaining, and really spanned the spectrum of topics:

1. The traumatic deaths of childhood pets. Cats in sofa beds, need I say more?
2. Creepy vs. cute maternity pictures. Why would Yoda be involved in the shoot…
3. Why foot cramps turn you into an evil clawed beast.
4. The science of baking. How, no really how, do the same ingredients turn into so many different things?
5. Which is more important to carry at all times, Smart Water or tactical pepper spray? And does the risk of pepper spraying yourself in the face outweigh the intended benefits?
6. What does the Victoria’s Secret PINK line really mean? Regardless, it’s offensive.
7. What are the best ways to avoid being killed while jogging or biking?
8. The shame in tripping and falling flat on your face. We’ve all done it. And still do it. And sometimes we cry when it happens.