reading material

Just finished this hysterical book. It’s a quick read and will make you feel like some of your strangest childhood memories aren’t really that strange.
Now onto this one. I’m 11 pages in and already scared.
I recently got a library card for the first time since I was nine. I am completely overwhelmed by the digital functionality of libraries and felt like I had slept through several decades when I was faced with online hold requests and electronic self checkout.

talk

I remember years ago hearing someone make a joke years ago that Coldplay music was only good to listen to when you were burning incense and writing in your journal. Well, I hate incense, but here I am, listening to them and writing in my version of a journal.

Music has strong memory associations and an often therapeutic effect. I went to this concert with Daniel many years ago, and when I heard this song today it struck a chord with how a lot of us are feeling.


Oh brother I can’t, I can’t get through

I’ve been trying hard to reach you, cause I don’t know what to do
Oh brother I can’t believe it’s true
I’m so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you
Oh I wanna talk to you

You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that’s never been done

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can’t find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they’re talking in a language I don’t speak
And they’re talking it to me

Happy Birthday Jim!

Happy birthday to my wonderful husband and best friend. You are the most amazing and inspiring person I know and I am blessed to be your wife.

At our wedding, my dad gave us a one of a kind, world-class toast. People talked about it for weeks and still mention it whenever we reminisce about our big day. A small part of his commentary about Jim was the following story:

I learned a lot about Jim’s character several years ago when Jessica called me, completely hysterical, to tell me they’d had to put Jim’s beloved dog to sleep. When I asked Jessie how Jim was doing, she said, “You know Dad, it’s the funniest thing. This was Jim’s dog, but he’s more concerned with how I’m doing than himself.” This is exactly what a father wants to hear.”

Today, on the one day of the year that should be all about him, he’s catering to me as I grieve. I love you so much Mr. Jim. Thank you for all that you do to make me the happiest girl in the world.

loss.

Sometimes people we care about are taken from us unexpectedly. I don’t think there’s anything worse than this feeling, and there’s  no remedy for the constant ache and overwhelming sadness that come with a loss.

We spend our lives striving to have more and more things, only to learn in an instant that the most most valuable parts of us aren’t things. They’re the irreplaceable people and relationships that make us who we are, and guide us through this thing called life.

As I’ve grown older, and been exposed to different twists of fate, I’ve learned you can’t seek explanations for senseless tragedies. You can’t find reasons for why terrible things happen to good people, and life isn’t always fair. It is a sobering moment in the transition from youth to adulthood to accept that none of us is invincible.

Today marks the tenth anniversary of the terrorist attacks on New York. None of us will ever forget where we were, how we found out and what we felt. I was in my freshman dorm at ASU and can still see that day in my head like it was yesterday. My heart goes out to everyone impacted by this horrible event and I pray they’ve found peace and happiness again.

Today was especially poignant for me as I learned that someone I knew for many years was killed in a terrible accident. I was shocked to hear that someone so full of life could be gone in an instant. Daniel was a remarkable person who lived life with an infectious energy. I hope he knows how many people he touched and inspired.

I feel that with death, we must grieve, but also be grateful. For memories, lessons and experiences. For so many good times that no one can take away. For a chance to know amazing people, even if it’s not for long enough.

Above all, I believe that life must be lived vibrantly, with adventure, and without an ounce of regret. We must find a balance between doing what we should do and what we are passionate about, and we must fill more time with our loved ones than doing anything else.

I feel so lucky to have a life full of love and incredible people, and so many things that make me happy. It makes coping with sadness possible, if not pleasant.