Today we had a plumber come out to assess why our toilet kept clogging. I was anticipating a $200 bill and that would be the end of it. Maybe the use of a glorified plunger?
Not even close. it turns out the reason our toilet was getting clogged is because the trees on our property have root systems running through the drainage line. Or something like that. The bottom line is we got an estimate that made me come close to dry heaving at work.
$8,665.80 + tax. They couldn’t even make it a nice round number, but had to throw in the extra 80 cents. Bastards.
I got this news on the eve of a lunch meeting and had to try to hold it together for an hour before I could completely freak out. I was 40% successful. Fortunately, Jim’s grandpa and my favorite realtor Zoee came to the rescue with some resources for cheaper options. They aren’t surefire fixes but hot damn it’s worth a try to save six months of mortgage payments.
I decided to share the news with our friend Jared, who’s had his fair share of home ownership woes, and this is how our conversation unfolded:
me: so we have fun new house drama
Jared: oh yeah?? Outside of dog bills me: our toilet kept clogging. so we called a plumber. i’m thinking it’d be maybe $200 bucks. NO. apparently tree roots have grown through our drainage line and the estime we got was $8,700.
me: yeah no jokeBut…Jim’s grandpa and dad have plans for a do-it-yourself-er. we may need your help digging
Jared: I’m good at that. I require beer in trade for digging
me: we have beer and Joose. imagine hyper drunk digging
Jared: I am almost positive that if I drank joose and dug in the heat…..I would puke. Then I would have to dig out my puke. sounds like extra work
me: i think until the weather’s better we’re gonna use root killer and some crazy saw the grandpa has. i was fascinated to learn plumbers have the same kind of cameras surgeons have to look at underground pipes. digging puke ewwwwwww
Jared: So Jim called me and told me about a 350 vet bill. he mentioned nothing about a 9000 root problem
me: tee hee ain’t life grand
Jared: I’m sure homeowners would cover that though
me: nope, already asked
Jared: damn that sucks
me: they don’t cover root damage. and the city won’t help either. jerks
Jared: I’ll dig for sure Jared: I have lots of shovels since we broke like 3 or 4 when we dug my hole
me: thanks. the dogs will also help dig
Jared: If only you could aim them
me: we need groundhogs. those you can aim i bet
Jared: Might be worth the investment. maybe you can find others with groundhogs and tell them they are fat. you will work them out for a small fee. Two birds….one stone. use the personal groundhog training cash to pay for the new pipe
me: damn there’s a plan. i might even blog about it
Jared: as you should. So am I digging this weekend….or sometime in the future?
me: oh no, future i believe